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Royal Albert New Country Roses Collection from Wedgwood
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No! We can’t afford it. We can’t manage that. I can’t take time off work. These are the most common responses that my husband gives when I suggest a new activity, event or life change. He has high anxiety and OCD coupled with mild depression, and he can be very difficult to live with. But I stay because I love him, and I just want him to be happy.
Sometimes, however, that means that I am not happy, and this is a challenge I am still trying to overcome. I need to be happy; our children need to be happy, and our family deserves to be happy. We have suffered a lot of trauma during recent years, and we need to reconnect, move on, and make a good life for our girls to grow up in.
No! How to Live with a Spouse that has Anxiety
No! How to Live with a Spouse that has Anxiety
Holidays are a huge issue. He doesn’t respond well to change, and he usually tells me we can’t afford a holiday. He has a good job with a good wage, and our debts are manageable. I know that we can afford it if we plan properly. But he cannot see beyond that, so he makes me feel like I am inferior, and that I am stupid for even suggesting such a preposterous idea as a family holiday. Indeed, our recent family holidays only came about because his parents (more specifically his mum) arranged them for us. I do not have control over the family finances. Part of his mental illness means that he needs to budget very tightly, and he thinks that I am not good with money. I used to believe that, but now I realize the truth. I also accept that I must make allowances for his behavior, as hard as that can be when I have no attempts at compromise coming from him.
A recent challenge is persuading him to start a program of home improvements. We moved house last year and our first job was a complete rewire and brand-new central heating system. The house was in chaos to begin with and we couldn’t unpack properly. It was hard. After that, I decided to wait awhile before I planned to decorate or do anything else. Now I have arranged for us to have a new log-burning stove installed in the living room fireplace. For the past year we have had a hole in the wall, with a mirror propped against it because it “freaked our girls out.” I tried speaking to my husband about whether to have a fire or not, whether to simply have the space cleared out and boarded up, whether to have a gas fire, or whether to have the stove. Eventually I just went ahead and did it, because he would not engage in conversation. It is a lonely journey.
Anxiety leads to evasive behaviour
I have learned over the years that a person suffering severe anxiety will be evasive. You might ask them to meet up for a drink and they will suddenly go quiet. It doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. It means that their demons are telling them that they can’t do it. I cannot fully comprehend what goes on in the mind of a mentally ill person, but I have some idea based on what my husband has told me in fleeting moments of connection. His first reaction is always to say no because he can shut down that line of conversation and continue with his routine, where he knows what to do and he is safe. For him that routine is work. He works away from home a lot at the moment, and I rarely speak to him on the phone. It’s not because he doesn’t care. It is because he buries himself in work so that he can avoid dealing with all the other challenges of life. And I am expected to run the family, run the household, pander to his needs, and get on with my life. Yes, it is very frustrating when your spouse says no all the time. And I am still trying to figure it all out.
LGBT fantasy book series set in Cornwall. “Love Kills (The Redcliffe Novels) ” #2 by Catherine Green.
Did you enjoy this article? Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
My family summer holiday this year was a visit to Cumbria, more specifically the Solway Coast. We decided to book somewhere that was closer to home, and it had to be coastal to satisfy my need for fresh sea air.
I found a lovely holiday cottage in Allonby, right on the coast and a short drive from both Silloth and Maryport. We stayed there in August, but unfortunately the British weather was not kind to us that week. It was mostly windy, quite wet, but we did get a few sunny spells and made good use of them on Allonby beach, at Maryport harbour and on a beach near Silloth while we explored the area.
#MummyMonday Summer Holiday Review: Allonby in Cumbria, England.
Allonby in Cumbria
I can also recommend the Gin Case as a fabulous venue for a family day out. There are play areas to keep the children entertained, a lovely restaurant and gift shop, and most importantly, lots of animals to visit. Allonby beach is a treasure trove waiting to be discovered. My daughters and I spent hours collecting broken bits of pottery, sea glass, unusual shells and pebbles. We could have spent a whole day picking up treasures, but we just couldn’t fit them all in the car to bring home!
Family bereavement on holiday
The only bad thing about our holiday was that it saw the end of our family dog, Baxter. He had been ill just weeks before we were due to go away, and we decided to continue with our family holiday as planned, because the seaside might help him with recovery. He did get one last visit to the beach at Allonby, and he paddled in the sea, which we know is what he wanted. Baxter knew that his end was near, and he made sure that it happened in his bed, with his family close by. He couldn’t have chosen a more beautiful part of the country.
Rugged beauty and wheelchair accessible
Allonby has a rugged beauty to it. The houses are old and weather worn but still standing, you can feel the energy of past generations and the work that must have thrived during the industrial years of the British Empire. If you are seeking a holiday in the UK where there aren’t too many tourists, then visit the Solway Coast. There are miles of golden beaches, shallow sea to play in, open green spaces and forests in abundance to explore, and everything you need for a nice family holiday.
I will add that we took my disabled father-in-law on holiday, and we found everything mostly accessible with his wheelchair. He is able to walk a little bit, so we muddled through, but everyone was very accommodating and helpful. We will certainly revisit the Solway Coast in the future.
LGBT werewolf fantasy story “It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels)” by Catherine Green
Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
Today is my best friend’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Jo! Today is also the last Friday of the month, which means We Are the World BlogFest (#WATWB). And I want to talk about the power of friendship.
The Power of Friendship #WATWB
The Power of Friendship #WATWB
Jo and I have known each other almost all our lives. We attended the same schools and college, and we even worked together in a couple of jobs as we explored career options. More recently we have taken our children on holidays and daytrips together, and always there are the drunken nights out to celebrate birthdays, Christmas and other events. They are not so frequent these days, but we try and do what we can. And it isn’t just the fun stuff. We both have health challenges, and we have both experienced various traumatic events and life changes during the years. We see each other through these events as best we can, always at the end of the phone or just up the motorway.
I want to celebrate friendships in general. Here on my blog I have connected with lots of like-minded people from around the world, and I am grateful to all of you for choosing to engage with me and my words. Your support for my recent bereavement has been incredible, and the network I am building around life with chronic pain is just fantastic. We need each other to help us through the dark times, and to celebrate the happy times.
Friendship has evolved with social media
In the era of social media and screen time, friendship has evolved into something global. Lots of people my age (late thirties), have made friends in other countries, and make time to visit those friends when they can. We have modern technology through which to speak, and that comes in very helpful when I speak to my friends over in Australia. We are connected to our friends in ways that were never thought possible just one hundred years ago. And our friends are what keep us going. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. And I am grateful for all my friends, both local, national and international. I love you all!
We are the World BlogFest (#WATWB) focuses on positive stories no matter where they’re found. It is all about spreading peace and humanity on social media. All participants post on the last Friday of the month, sharing a positive news story that contributes to making our world a happier, safer, and better place to live.
LGBT fantasy book series set in Cornwall. “Love Hurts (The Redcliffe Novels)” #1 by Catherine Green.
Did you enjoy this article? Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
Mabon blessings, my friends! Autumn has officially sprung here in the UK, and with it we have all sorts of unrest and changes to deal with.
Politically there is the Brexit debacle – I won’t even go there. Then we have the collapse of Thomas Cook, a heritage holiday brand, and that has left at least 9000 people without a job, with a wider community around the world. I have heard from some of the staff involved, and they are devastated.
And then there are more domestic matters to concern ourselves with. It is almost a year since the death of my friend’s mother. My friend is still living with the grief whilst trying to continue normal life, and all we can do is take each day as it comes. I am still grieving for my dog, Baxter. Life goes on.
Mabon Blessings and the Autumn Equinox
Mabon Blessings
On a more cheerful note, we are having a multi-fuel stove installed in our living room, which means that the fireplace is being knocked about to accommodate it, and the whole thing is looking better already, now that we are back to bare brick and have removed the old 1980s botch-up pipework and remnants of the old back boiler. This is part of moving on, making positive changes to a house that has been well loved but that needs bringing into the 21st century.
Whilst I hark back to more simple times, and I like to furnish our home with antiques wherever possible, I think we are settling in to a nice compromise (after all, my husband lives here too, so I suppose I should allow him a little say in how we decorate!) I look forward to setting up the new fire when it is finished, sitting in my rocking chair before the flames, and contemplating events of the past year, and events that are still to unfold.
My Mabon celebration is all about hearth and home. How about yours?
#MummyMonday An Autumn Walk with Baxter
Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
It has been a month since our beloved family dog died. He lived a long, happy life after we found him in a local dogs’ home. We have no knowledge of his origins, only that when he came to us, he was very nervous, and he had a terrible reaction to loud noises like smoke alarms and timer alarms. He would literally have a panic attack, and we would have to calm him down.
Baxter was terrified of water when we first brought him home, but with some gentle coaxing from my husband, he began paddling in the river near home, and he adored visiting the coast and swimming in the sea. He even went for a swim in Lake Bala in North Wales once upon a time.
We have so many precious and wonderful memories of our boy, but now we are lonely.
#MummyMonday For the Love of Dogs
For the Love of Dogs
I have found it incredibly difficult working from home every day and being so alone. I miss the tinkle of his collar as he trots around the house. I miss watching him in the garden while I work in the kitchen. I miss him walking by my side along the canal path and the riverside. I miss our nightly cuddles on the sofa, after we get the children to bed. I am lonely, and our house is far too quiet.
But are we ready to bring home a new dog? I don’t know. Part of me wants to go out and adopt all the local Staffies that nobody will have. But we have visited a few animal welfare homes during the past few weeks, and we are not quite ready. Our next dog (or dogs) is out there, somewhere. I think I am ready to bring them home, but my husband needs a little more time. Let us see what autumn brings.
LGBT werewolf fantasy story “It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels)” by Catherine Green
Did you enjoy this article? Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
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Vera Wang Photo Frame Wedding Gift from Wedgwood
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Vera Wang Love Always Photo Frame (Photo: 8x10inch): Vera Wang Love Always Photo Frame (Photo: 8x10inch). Present beautiful pictures in delicate design with the Love Always Photo Frame (8x10inch). Perfect for all occasions including birthdays, anniversaries and Mother’s Day, this frame is silver-plated and features a beautiful folded heart motif. Our Price £95.00.
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During my research about modern witchcraft and holistic care, I have realized that the two subjects are quite closely aligned.
Popular culture sees the witch as a mythical old hag or a woman who is cast out from society for being different. Perhaps she lives alone, is unmarried, or has a physical deformity. Maybe she can no longer provide support within her local community, so she is banished to a hovel in the forest. That is the stereotype I grew up with.
But the modern witch has evolved into something far more complicated, becoming immersed in society, and even turning him or herself invisible. That was me. Maybe that still is me.
#WitchyWednesday How Modern Witchcraft includes Holistic Care
How Modern Witchcraft includes Holistic Care
I do not have time to learn everything about herbs, spell-casting, runes, symbols and everything else you find in modern witchcraft. I do not identify with a particular strand or belief system. I suppose you would call me a polytheistic witch, believing in different systems and traditions based on my instincts. I have a particular interest in Celtic history, and this may be ancestral memories, I don’t know.
My life is busy because I am a wife, mother and carer. The caring mostly involves my husband, children and pets, but it also includes our wider family and friends when it is needed. Since I qualified as a reiki practitioner, I have received many requests for treatments, but so far have not been ready to take on everyone and their problems. I will approach my offer of reiki treatments slowly, because I am mainly working on myself. I cannot care for others if I do not care for myself, at the end of the day.
Holistic care aligns with modern witchcraft
Holistic care can include so many aspects that align with modern witchcraft. There is the practice of reiki healing, which is essentially the use of energy magic. We use aromatherapy oils to relax our bodies, ease muscle pain and fatigue, and many other ailments. We resort to fresh foods, herbal tea, and a specific diet to combat the effects of a society raised on processed food and artificial ingredients. For me, providing holistic care can simply mean holding space for a person.
Life is so busy and hectic that people are often wrapped up in their own drama. I recognize how important it is to sit with children for at least half an hour in the evenings or on the weekends, not talking about schoolwork or chores. And I know that my husband would like to have time where he doesn’t need to worry about work, finances or the challenges of adulthood. I also try and make time for my retired parents, in-laws, and friends that need support. There are a lot of people that need help!
The work of the modern witch
This is the work of the modern witch. She might be a nurse or professional carer, she might be an early years teacher or childminder. She could simply be a housewife, those women who are perceived to have the easy life. The witch could also be a man, let’s not forget. Modern witchcraft is everywhere. We just need to recognize that it doesn’t always involve a spell book and a black cat. Blessed be.
LGBT fantasy book series set in Cornwall. “Eye of the Tiger (The Redcliffe Novels)” #4 by Catherine Green.
Did you enjoy this article? Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
I joined the social network for A Chronic Voice earlier this year because I needed to find people who understand what life is like with chronic pain. Today I have written a post using the September link-up prompts, to show my experience of living with a chronic pain disorder.
Click here to find other blog posts from fellow chronic pain sufferers, or #spoonies as we call ourselves online.
How Chronic Pain Impacts on Life
How Chronic Pain Impacts on Life
Finding: Having been diagnosed with a rare genetic eye disorder at a very young age, I grew up not knowing I was different from other children. I mean, yes, I had a lot of time off school to attend hospital appointments and to have surgery, but my parents never made a big deal out of it. It was just part of my life, and part of me. As I grew older, I found that I was different from other people. I slowly began to recognize that something was wrong with my eyes, and that perhaps I should speak to the doctors about it. But they never seemed to understand my chronic pain. They simply dismissed it as unimportant.
Researching: When I got to university, I decided I should try and learn more about my eye condition. I wanted to know if other people had the same condition that my brother and I had. It took until my late teens to get an official diagnosis from the doctors. They knew what they were treating when I was a child, but they seemed reluctant to tell me the name whenever I asked. I gradually learned that I have a condition called Lymphodoema Distichiasis, but I also have severe Dry Eye Syndrome and chronic Blepharitis, all connected to my genetic condition where I grow a second set of eyelashes on the insides of my eyelids. I bought some books about eyes, and tried to learn about my condition, but all I could find was reference to Dry Eye Syndrome. Even now, in 2019, I have not found a single other person aside from my brother and my dad that has Distichiasis (double row of eyelashes).
Dating: I have been with my husband for nineteen years, married for ten. Back in the early days of our relationship I regularly had hospital visits for eye treatment. I remember him bringing me flowers after one of my routine eye surgeries. He was still trying to impress me! Nowadays there is none of that. I even have to drive myself to hospital for check-ups because he can’t possibly take time off work for me… But still, I don’t remember my eye condition affecting my ability to date when I was a teenager. I think back then I was largely in denial and I simply tried to get on with my life, living with the pain and ignoring it as best I could. Mostly when I meet new people, they are unaware that I have a chronic pain condition until I tell them. But I am still self-conscious about it.
Reusing: I’m currently battling with my demons about the amount of single-use plastic I consume with my medication. While I don’t need drugs specifically, I do rely on artificial tears, ointments and lotion to sooth my eyes and ease the pain. My minims come individually wrapped in plastic packets, and while my husband says they are recyclable (he’s a Chartered Waste Manager), I am still unsure how they are processed by our local authority. My Hyabak eyedrops are in small plastic bottles that I can put in the recycling bin, my Xailin ointment comes in a plastic tube which I think is non-recyclable, and I also use a bottle of lotion called Blephasol, which again I recycle when it is empty. I suppose all I can do is be mindful and reduce and reuse where possible.
Recounting: Wow, reading all of that reminds me just how time-consuming my eye condition can be! I suppose I never really think of it as something to deal with. It is simply there, my body doing what it does, and I have learned to live with it. But I can recall lots of events throughout my life where my eye condition has restricted me. For example, there are many careers that I couldn’t pursue because of my eyes. I have to limit my driving sometimes when I am struggling with the pain and discomfort. During the past few weeks I have been in excruciating pain because I cried a lot when our dog got ill and subsequently died. All the crying irritated my eyes. And now I have lots of very fine, small eyelashes growing inwards and scratching the surface of my eyes. Life goes on.
LGBT werewolf fantasy story “It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels)” by Catherine Green
Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
Several years ago, I discovered the world of shamanism. Before then all I knew about it was the stories that came from Native America, and they were few and far between. I assumed that shamans were simply Native Americans. I was naïve and knew nothing about our world.
I still don’t fully understand shamans, but I have reached the conclusion that I can be a shaman here in the UK. Perhaps British shamans have been assigned different names. Perhaps they are druids, pagans, or an ancient people whose history has died out through generations. Perhaps shamanism lies in our blood, and those of us who feel the call will find our way.
Shamanism and the Modern Witch
Shamanism and the Modern Witch
How could I call myself a shaman when I don’t practice ancient rituals, when I don’t have a mentor or teacher, and when I haven’t officially been inducted into this deeply mysterious and spiritual world? That is what I thought when the voices began calling me home. It was the same when I began to identify as a witch. I had never been in a coven or met a priestess, and I was unfamiliar with anything besides history and Hollywood stereotypes. It took a long time for me to call myself a witch, but I know that I felt it from a very young age. I just didn’t know how to express it. And now it is the same with shamanism.
I recently watched some online discussions as part of the Shift Network Summit, and one speaker struck a chord. She is a shaman from somewhere far away and seemingly far more exotic than England. She has a world of life experience that I could never imagine. But something she said resonated deeply with me: We as shamans learn to accept all elements of the world, and how to integrate and separate where necessary. I can be a shaman. I am a shaman. I am simply finding my own path and doing it my own way.
Sometimes I might speak silently to the trees that I walk past. Sometimes I sit in meditation and converse with my spirit guides. Other times I get together with friends and enjoy a night of drinking and dancing. It is all part of being a shaman, knowing when to let go of control, and knowing when to step away from the human world. We learn to adapt. And yes, we can be shamans in the UK. Come forward and join your friends. We are waiting!
Contemporary adult Gothic fairytale “The Wolf and the Fairy” by Catherine Green.
Did you enjoy this article? Download your FREE copy of LGBT fantasy short story It’s Complicated (The Redcliffe Novels) and meet the werewolves of Cornwall, England. Click here.
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