Chronic Voice Link-up: Suffering Again but Moving Forward

Welcome to July and our monthly A Chronic Voice blog link-up. My mood has been wild for the past month. I have gone from extreme down in the dumps to wild elation, all due to my chronic pain condition and the way I respond to it. Read on for my take on the July prompts.

AGING

I am fast approaching middle age and recently the consequence of aging has been forefront in my mind. While I am not quite 40, I have been thinking about whether my chronic pain condition will develop more symptoms as I get older. During the past month I have had an ECG because my new ophthalmologist wanted to ensure my heart is healthy as this could be affected by the FOXC2 gene that I carry. I have heard nothing since the ECG, so I presume my heart is fine. Still, will this deteriorate as I grow older? I don’t know.

SUFFERING

Right now, I am suffering again. For the past six months or so my focus has been on managing severe Dry Eye Syndrome. I changed my eyedrops, switched to a new eyelid care regime and moved to a new hospital. Now my ingrowing eyelashes are growing again, and nobody will help. I am left to remove the eyelashes with tweezers myself, and it hurts. Then I have to live with pain from the scratches that they cause on my corneas. And the dry skin around my eyes because they water due to the foreign body sensation. I hate it.

TRANSFORMING

In other news, and away from my chronic pain condition, I feel that my life is transforming and evolving into something better and more positive. The eye problems will always be there. I just learn new ways to cope. My reiki business is growing nicely and while I am practicing reiki healing on clients, I am also healing myself with the universal energy. Win-win! My children are growing older and moving up in school years, so now we have the task of choosing a high school for my elder daughter. It is bittersweet knowing that she is growing more independent and needs less physical support from me. I have more time to myself which I do enjoy, but I miss caring for my babies.

NAVIGATING

We finish school for summer holidays later this week, and I will be navigating a whole new set of emotions relating to the high school situation and my girls growing older. I have lined up a distraction, however. We are looking to adopt two kittens so they should soothe my maternal instincts for the rest of the year! I’m not sure how our dog will respond but we plan to navigate the transition slowly and carefully. Hopefully, he will make friends with his feline siblings. Fingers crossed!

VISUALISING

I have been visualising for many years during my meditation practice and use of affirmations for wellbeing and selfcare. I find the process relaxing and helpful for my needs. I have a vivid imagination, so it is easy for me to visualise different scenarios. Right now, I am visualising my new autologous serum eyedrops being delivered sooner rather than later. The doctor seems convinced that they will ease my eye pain. I need them now.

Chronic Voice Link-Up

I joined the social network for A Chronic Voice because I needed to find people who understand what life is like with chronic illness, people like me. Today I have written a post using the July link-up prompts, to show my experience of living with a chronic pain disorder. Click here to find other blog posts from fellow chronic pain sufferers, or #spoonies as we call ourselves online.

Did you enjoy this article? Sign Up Now to keep informed of new stories from SpookyMrsGreen.

About SpookyMrsGreen

SpookyMrsGreen: The Pagan Housewife. Mindful parenting and modern pagan lifestyle. Keep updated with promotions, special offers and our family adventures if you sign up today! https://www.subscribepage.com/SpookyMrsGreen
This entry was posted in eye health, holistic health, pagan mother and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Chronic Voice Link-up: Suffering Again but Moving Forward

  1. Your eye condition sounds so painful. I knew someone who had surgery for ingrowing eyelashes – I don’t know if that’s an option for you?

    • I have had eye surgeries all through childhood and adulthood up until a few years ago. I had repeat electrolysis procedures, cryotherapy and eyelid rotation surgery. The lashes are growing in less frequently now so the focus is on the associated Dry Eye Syndrome, but the whole thing together is hard to live with. I have scars on both corneas from all the childhood surgeries and they are prone to inflammation.

  2. Invisibly Me says:

    You’ve done brilliantly covering the prompts. What date is your birthday? I really hope the ECG comes back all clear. No news is usually good news in such a case so I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

    I’ve found my sjogrens with dry eyes getting worse lately but I wasn’t sure why and it’s utterly miserable as the migraines are worse too. But I don’t have ingrowing eyelashes so I can’t begin to imagine how you deal with that. I can’t understand how specialist eye care centres in hospitals aren’t helping. There must be something they can do. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with it but I absolutely don’t think you should be left like that with no help.

    I hope the school holidays are enjoyed by the kids – I can’t believe it’s that time already. The year is going way too fast for me. Getting kittens sounds exciting. I think you’ve done it the better way around – new little catkins introduced to the pre-existing dog. I want a dog, but I don’t think the pre-existing cat will take too kindly at all, and I’d be more worried for the dog in that situation! 😆

    I hope the new eyedrops arrive asap lovely.

    Caz xxxx

    • Thanks Caz. I was tested for Sjogren’s and macular dystrophy when I first transferred to Manchester Royal Eye Hospital in the mid-2000s but they were quickly ruled out. Eventually the doctors just passed me around because nobody knew what to do with me. I do have punctal plugs to try and keep moisture in my eyes for longer, but my new ophthalmologist reckons these new autologous drops should be the answer. Regarding the ingrowing eyelashes there seems to be no cure. I am a medical freak, as my husband says!

      Ha ha, I’m sure your cat would have something to say about a dog! Our old dog used to be terrorised by the next-door neighbour’s cat, and she once chased him into their house and cornered him in the bathroom. My neighbour had to rescue him! I think Marley is more brave but I’m hoping he will make friends with the kittens once he gets used to them. 🙂

  3. Melissa says:

    Gosh, those ingrown eyelashes sound so painful! I hope those new eyedrops bring you some relief. Do you think your Reiki practice and meditation benefit each other? I use meditation and visualization all the time to help with pain and mindfulness, but I’ve never tried Reiki.

    • Yes, I believe that my reiki self-healing practise has helped prevent me from having a complete emotional breakdown due to the pain of my condition. It keeps me “on the level” 🙂

  4. I’m sorry to hear that your eye pain has gotten worse recently, and I really hope that the new eyedrops will make a difference and ease your discomfort. It’s so great that you’ve been able to use reiki to heal yourself though! I’ve been exploring energy healing and visualization too, as I’m open to trying anything that might help the pain and fatigue. I’m sure that the kittens will be a great distraction for your kids this summer – having animals around is always nice 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s