Welcome to July and our monthly A Chronic Voice blog link-up. My mood has been wild for the past month. I have gone from extreme down in the dumps to wild elation, all due to my chronic pain condition and the way I respond to it. Read on for my take on the July prompts.
I am fast approaching middle age and recently the consequence of aging has been forefront in my mind. While I am not quite 40, I have been thinking about whether my chronic pain condition will develop more symptoms as I get older. During the past month I have had an ECG because my new ophthalmologist wanted to ensure my heart is healthy as this could be affected by the FOXC2 gene that I carry. I have heard nothing since the ECG, so I presume my heart is fine. Still, will this deteriorate as I grow older? I don’t know.
Right now, I am suffering again. For the past six months or so my focus has been on managing severe Dry Eye Syndrome. I changed my eyedrops, switched to a new eyelid care regime and moved to a new hospital. Now my ingrowing eyelashes are growing again, and nobody will help. I am left to remove the eyelashes with tweezers myself, and it hurts. Then I have to live with pain from the scratches that they cause on my corneas. And the dry skin around my eyes because they water due to the foreign body sensation. I hate it.
In other news, and away from my chronic pain condition, I feel that my life is transforming and evolving into something better and more positive. The eye problems will always be there. I just learn new ways to cope. My reiki business is growing nicely and while I am practicing reiki healing on clients, I am also healing myself with the universal energy. Win-win! My children are growing older and moving up in school years, so now we have the task of choosing a high school for my elder daughter. It is bittersweet knowing that she is growing more independent and needs less physical support from me. I have more time to myself which I do enjoy, but I miss caring for my babies.
We finish school for summer holidays later this week, and I will be navigating a whole new set of emotions relating to the high school situation and my girls growing older. I have lined up a distraction, however. We are looking to adopt two kittens so they should soothe my maternal instincts for the rest of the year! I’m not sure how our dog will respond but we plan to navigate the transition slowly and carefully. Hopefully, he will make friends with his feline siblings. Fingers crossed!
I have been visualising for many years during my meditation practice and use of affirmations for wellbeing and selfcare. I find the process relaxing and helpful for my needs. I have a vivid imagination, so it is easy for me to visualise different scenarios. Right now, I am visualising my new autologous serum eyedrops being delivered sooner rather than later. The doctor seems convinced that they will ease my eye pain. I need them now.
Chronic Voice Link-Up
I joined the social network for A Chronic Voice because I needed to find people who understand what life is like with chronic illness, people like me. Today I have written a post using the July link-up prompts, to show my experience of living with a chronic pain disorder. Click here to find other blog posts from fellow chronic pain sufferers, or #spoonies as we call ourselves online.
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