This week I feel broken. There are many conflicting demands on my time at the moment, and I have had to let something lapse. That was my work. While I am desperate to continue building my freelance writing business, and growing the audience for my novels, I just cannot do it all alone, and I do not have the means to pay someone else. So it will have to wait, while I tend to more domestic challenges.
My marriage is struggling due to my husband’s mental health condition. I cannot do more to help, so now I am helpless. The demon is winning this particular battle. But I will not be defeated. And I will not back down. My children are ready for school to resume (or in the case of my youngest daughter, start). They enjoyed our family holiday, we have had days out with friends, caught up with people we haven’t seen for a while. Now we need to move on.
In a fortnight’s time, all of this will be just a distant memory. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. We might manifest that magical, elusive buyer for our house. My husband might suddenly and miraculously come to his senses and take control of his work/life (im)balance. I might land a lucrative freelance job that will both boost my self-confidence, give me a sense of purpose, and help to further my career. Or nothing could happen. We could simply stumble along, day after day, wondering when it will change. How is your summer?
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