Lessons learned during lockdown, looking forward to new business, and letting go of what no longer serves my best interests.
I am feeling much better now that my children are back at school. This is my favourite time of year as we begin to prepare for autumn, look forward to Halloween, and then the festivities of Christmas. I do not cope well in heat and hot weather, so I much prefer the colder time of year when I can light a fire, put on my cosy jumper, and snuggle down on the sofa with a book and a glass of wine. That is the best feeling!
The past twelve months has been gruelling. It began with family bereavement, and then another family bereavement, then lockdown, the pandemic and everything that came with it. My marriage is collapsing. My health has been generally good, apart from my chronic illness and a daytrip to A&E with chest pains. The pain in my eyes has been excruciating recently, exacerbated by stress, tiredness, too much screen time and not enough fresh air. Thankfully now I can try to alleviate those symptoms, but it only takes a windy day or the wrong kind of rain to set me back and send me home crying and fed up.
It has been so tempting to wallow in self-pity and give up on life during lockdown. My children kept me going, but they struggled without the routine of school and time with their friends. I turned to junk food for support, and the Just Eat app became far too tempting at one point. Now I need to work off the extra weight and eat a more balanced diet. I also need to drink a lot more water to help alleviate my Dry Eye Syndrome and overall dryness in my body. But the coffee, wine and Coca Cola are just so tasty!
The new month has brought a new challenge, and now I am planning to set up a new business. I am soon to complete my Reiki 3rd Degree Master practitioner certificate, and I finally feel confident to be a professional reiki practitioner. Running a business is a daunting prospect, and while I know that my blog is a business in itself, this new venture brings more responsibility because it has to bring a regular income. Now I am writing the business plan, exploring my options for a space to work from, and preparing to engage with potential clients. It is an exciting time.
I have learned over the years that I can only mend myself. I cannot help other people with their problems and behavioral issues. It has been a hard lesson that finally made sense during lockdown. I reached into the darkest recesses of my mind and emotions, did some seriously heavy energy work on myself, and realised my truth. I had to mend myself, and I am still recovering, but now I feel strong enough to reach out and help other people, but only if they want to help themselves.
Chronic Voice Link-Up
I joined the social network for A Chronic Voice because I needed to find people who understand what life is like with chronic illness, people like me. Today I have written a post using the September link-up prompts, to show my experience of living with a chronic pain disorder. Click here to find other blog posts from fellow chronic pain sufferers, or #spoonies as we call ourselves online.
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Thank you for sharing such a raw and honest post about how you’re feeling. It’s been a rough year for everyone. But knowing we can only mend ourselves is so important x