Appreciate the Working Mother, Housewife, general Dogsbody

Yes, this is a post about women’s liberation, women’s rights, feminism, whatever you like to call it! And it is an opportunity for me to vent some frustration. Well, a lot of frustration actually. I am extremely agitated about my domestic situation. Sometimes I wonder if the feminist movement really did us a favour or not.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for it. I expect to be treated as an equal in society. I demand my right to vote for our council officials. I expect my husband to consult me on any decisions that impact on the family or running of the house. But here’s the thing. I am only 30, and I feel like a downtrodden housewife. It is not right.

I love my husband. He’s a good man. But he is also ego driven, wrapped up in his own little world, and he holds to the belief that it is ‘his job’ to go out and work full-time to provide money for the family. It therefore falls to me to raise our child and run the house. I agreed to this arrangement purely because I wanted a baby. I never wanted to be a housewife.

The problem now is that we cannot afford for me to go out to work. We had to sell my car because the running costs were too high. And now I would struggle to find a job on the bus route that paid enough money and offered flexibility for me to put our child in daycare. How ridiculous is that?

SpookyMrsGreen Housewife

But, I hear you cry, you have it easy! Yes I do, but not as easy as you think. I am setting up a business from home. I write books. I blog regularly. I offer myself as a professional freelance copy editor. And I am a Tarot reader and would like to develop myself as a public speaker on the subject of spiritual living and holistic therapies. All of this is not so easy when my husband expects me to care for our child and clean the house.

Yes I am complaining. This is for me, and for all you women out there in my situation (and I know there are lots of us). We are very lucky to have the opportunity to be at home with our children during their early years. I fully appreciate that, and I am thankful for it. That does not mean I have to give up being the person I was before I had a baby. I am not simply ‘the mother’ and ‘the housewife.’ I am a writer, an author, a spiritual counsellor. And I think it is high time somebody appreciated this, and made me feel that all of my efforts are worthwhile. And, yes, I want some financial reward for my hard work, dammit!

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About SpookyMrsGreen

SpookyMrsGreen: Mindful parenting and modern pagan lifestyle. See my blog for exclusive special offers, discount codes, health advice, eco-friendly tips, book reviews and more! Search #TheRedcliffeNovels and meet the vampires and werewolves of Cornwall, England.
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8 Responses to Appreciate the Working Mother, Housewife, general Dogsbody

  1. kario says:

    Amen, sister! I just turned 40 and it doesn’t get any easier. The longer I’m out of the ‘traditional’ workforce, the bigger difference between my earning power and my hubby’s. Therefore, it only makes sense for him to continue working since I can’t command the same salary he does. And that means that I’m the default parent, altering my writing-from-home work schedule when there is a sick kid or a day off of school or dinner needs to be made. It’s so hard to feel like an equal when this is the situation, but we have to find a different kind of value in what we do.

  2. habisha says:

    You are a fabulous human being and I know exactly how you feel. We are down to one car, too, and sometimes I feel “shut in” also — and we have no bus route near me because I am very rural, on an island. But I love being able to spend lots of time with my characters without having to give into the dictates of a boss. Of course, my kids are grown, so I’m in a different part of my life, but I do remember those days. Love the hubby for being “the man” and I wish you the best in finding a way to make money from home.

  3. Your husband my be working, but you’re working TWO jobs–both of which involve several different smaller “jobs”. 1. You take care of a child, clean, cook, keep things going (a fulltime task if ever there was one). 2. Writer and all the other things you mentioned. That’s actually more like three or four jobs.

    Don’t feel guilty about asking for some free time. Or asking your husband to do something instead of you. Marriage is a partnership, and both partners have to give. My husband and I are working on that partnership thing, so i can tell you it isn’t easy. It is worth working toward.

    Take care!

  4. Pingback: Just another Mother… the joys of Having it All in the 21st Century | SpookyMrsGreen

  5. Pingback: Who Should I Vote For? #Election2015 | SpookyMrsGreen

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