Yes, this is a post about women’s liberation, women’s rights, feminism, whatever you like to call it! And it is an opportunity for me to vent some frustration. Well, a lot of frustration actually. I am extremely agitated about my domestic situation. Sometimes I wonder if the feminist movement really did us a favour or not.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for it. I expect to be treated as an equal in society. I demand my right to vote for our council officials. I expect my husband to consult me on any decisions that impact on the family or running of the house. But here’s the thing. I am only 30, and I feel like a downtrodden housewife. It is not right.
I love my husband. He’s a good man. But he is also ego driven, wrapped up in his own little world, and he holds to the belief that it is ‘his job’ to go out and work full-time to provide money for the family. It therefore falls to me to raise our child and run the house. I agreed to this arrangement purely because I wanted a baby. I never wanted to be a housewife.
The problem now is that we cannot afford for me to go out to work. We had to sell my car because the running costs were too high. And now I would struggle to find a job on the bus route that paid enough money and offered flexibility for me to put our child in daycare. How ridiculous is that?
But, I hear you cry, you have it easy! Yes I do, but not as easy as you think. I am setting up a business from home. I write books. I blog regularly. I offer myself as a professional freelance copy editor. And I am a Tarot reader and would like to develop myself as a public speaker on the subject of spiritual living and holistic therapies. All of this is not so easy when my husband expects me to care for our child and clean the house.
Yes I am complaining. This is for me, and for all you women out there in my situation (and I know there are lots of us). We are very lucky to have the opportunity to be at home with our children during their early years. I fully appreciate that, and I am thankful for it. That does not mean I have to give up being the person I was before I had a baby. I am not simply ‘the mother’ and ‘the housewife.’ I am a writer, an author, a spiritual counsellor. And I think it is high time somebody appreciated this, and made me feel that all of my efforts are worthwhile. And, yes, I want some financial reward for my hard work, dammit!
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