I joined the social network for A Chronic Voice because I needed to find people who understand what life is like with chronic pain. Today I have written a post using the February link-up prompts, to show my experience of living with a chronic pain disorder. Click here to find other blog posts from fellow chronic pain sufferers, or #spoonies as we call ourselves online.

Looking

Physically I am struggling at the moment. My chronic pain condition is in my eyes, due to a lifetime of coping with ingrowing eyelashes, scars on the surface of my eyes, and severe Dry Eye Syndrome. I attended an appointment with my optician for a routine eye test, but I really struggled to do the eye test. Every time I blinked my vision changed. It can be badly blurred one minute, and slightly improved the next, with no knowing how it is going to be. The optician seemed genuinely concerned about my discomfort and expressed his dismay that he couldn’t improve my situation or take away the pain. He did manage to diagnose a better strength of lenses for my new glasses, however, so hopefully that will help with daily life.

Playing

There hasn’t been much time for play lately. Life is a challenge, but we have the prospect of booking holidays later in the year, and this week is our half-term break from school so my children and I can enjoy some down time. First, I need to buy our passports. I haven’t been abroad since I got married which was ten years ago, so I need a new passport, and of course my children have never travelled abroad so they need them as well. I am a little bit obsessed with playing a game on my Kindle and phone if that counts… Do you play Matchington Mansion? I love it, so simple, and so satisfying as we redevelop our rooms. If only it were that simple with my real-life house!

Joining

Do you ever feel like you are trying to join the dots with your life? Our family dynamic feels a bit disjointed and I am struggling to make everything fit together. Maybe we are more like a jigsaw, and we are a constant work in progress. My career is stuttering along in the background while I prioritise our children, and my husband is always at work or thinking about work or doing something for work. Hopefully we can swap over at some point in the future, once he feels more settled in his new facility. He manages a household food waste composting facility, so it is very full-on and complicated – and smelly!

Invigorating

Spring is in the air! Here in the UK we have been battered with storms recently, and as I write this I am listening to radio reports of severe flooding in parts of the country. My town is fine, we have a bit of localized flooding around the river, but it only covers fields. We have a few big puddles and our back garden resembles a swamp, but we can cope with that. I find the fresh Spring air invigorating and refreshing, which is just what we need. I will take the children and dog out for a walk with friends later, and we will all feel better for it.

Ditching

We need to ditch the bad moods! I am guilty of being very grumpy with my husband because he frustrates me so much, but we still love each other. I know it can be the same for many other people, and it seems to be a habit with marriage, whatever the dynamic of your relationship. Do we need to ditch old attitudes perhaps? I feel like I am always battling for equality in my marriage, and yet I chose to put myself in this situation so then I get cross with myself. Ultimately, I am happy with my life as it is, so why be grumpy? Have a lovely half-term week, my friends!

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