Life in lockdown is exhausting and challenging. Today I use the prompts from A Chronic Voice for the monthly link-up. I live with rare disease; an eye disorder called Distichiasis, along with associated Dry Eye Syndrome, Blepharitis and various other ailments affecting the nerves and eye area. I am struggling even more right now due to tiredness from being home alone with my children. Here are my responses to the prompts.
What do I want? Many years ago, I discovered the system of using affirmations and the Law of Attraction to define what I wanted to achieve in life. Back then I was confused about my career choices, my role as a new parent, and being newly married. Fast forward ten years and I am comfortable in my place. I am still defining my career since it has evolved during that time, but it is a fun journey. I am comfortable as a mother and am dealing with the marriage side of the equation. That was not a success, but I have learned a lot about people during that time and knew I was naïve and ill-informed when I chose to pursue a life with my husband. Now I am learning to live with my choice and make the best of the situation.
One thing I know is that I must give myself time and space during lockdown as much as I can. Being home alone with two children and a dog 24/7 is a challenge. I cannot walk around the house without an entourage it seems! Instead I am allocating time for myself, instructing the children to leave me alone and entertain themselves. Then I can read my book, practice my reiki meditation, and do the necessary self-care rituals to help with my eye health and overall mental state.
It’s strange, but last year during the first UK lockdown I saw evidence of people coming together and uniting in mutual support. Community groups set up volunteer bases to help those who were shielding. Neighbours helped each other. This lockdown, I get a feeling that people are just fed-up, and some appear to be reacting with bitterness and unpleasant judgmental responses. It makes me feel sad, and it is confusing to witness. My small attempt at uniting people is to offer free Facebook Live video sessions on weekdays where I sit in meditation and send distance Reiki healing to anyone that welcomes it. I cannot offer much more right now, much as I wish that I could.
Many people are experiencing financial uncertainty due to the pandemic. I am also feeling a little anxious but for different reasons. Our household finances are set to change during the next few months, and while I don’t know exactly how much lower our income will be, I am aware that I need to prepare as much as possible. I am adding to my savings account each month and reducing my credit card bill in preparation for lean times. As a freelance writer my income ebbs and flows, so I am in the habit of saving when I have more money, to prepare for the times when work is slow.
This word has become something of a demon to me and my mum friends during lockdown. Most of us are fed up with homeschooling, including the professional teachers. They struggle to homeschool their own children while simultaneously being at work to teach all the other children in their care, both in the classroom and remotely. It is an absolute nightmare! I am not a teacher and never wanted to be, so this lockdown is proving a huge challenge when it comes to educating my children. I am exhausted.
Chronic Voice Link-Up
I joined the social network for A Chronic Voice because I needed to find people who understand what life is like with chronic illness, people like me. Today I have written a post using the February link-up prompts, to show my experience of living with a chronic pain disorder. Click here to find other blog posts from fellow chronic pain sufferers, or #spoonies as we call ourselves online.
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