Today is my birthday (subdued cheer). I have decided to postpone my celebrations while I play Nurse Mummy to my younger daughter. She had a couple of medical procedures in hospital earlier this week, and her recovery is painful and difficult to watch. There was nothing obviously wrong with her, but our optician referred her to the hospital for further tests following a routine eye check. You can never be too careful, and we are being well cared for by our NHS teams.
The stress of hospital visits, running a household, trying to give both my children equal attention while simultaneously training and settling our new dog has taken its toll. I don’t feel sad, but I don’t feel properly happy, and I am definitely not relaxed. I haven’t felt pure joy for a good few months if I’m honest. My family has experienced and continues to experience trauma, and we are simply wading through day by day. My experience is no worse or better than anyone else’s in similar situations. We have these challenges, and we learn to live with them. My husband’s poor mental health certainly exacerbates my stress, because I feel partly like his carer and partly like a single parent most of the time. Who will take care of me? My friends. I am very lucky and very grateful to have a wonderful circle of mum friends who rally round to help me with childcare, dog care and everything else that needs attention. Life goes on.
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