Today I switched on my computer with the intention of sitting down to do some ‘proper’ work after I lost December in a whirl of domestic chaos, excited children and the magic of a family Christmas. I ended up taking a rather extended holiday during the festivities, and it even began sooner than I planned. I did manage to find a few days to relax and regroup, and this gave me some space to realise what had happened during 2013.
Last year was chaotic. There is no other way to describe it. I was pregnant for the first half of the year, and while I had no major health complications, I struggled with it because I was hot, heavy and tired for most of the time. It didn’t help that I found myself at home alone with my elder daughter who is a very lively toddler. My husband has been working away from home for long hours, and is in fact somehow managing to fit 5 weeks’ worth of working hours into each month. I’m not sure how he does it, but the strain has finally begun to show.
Today I feel like I should be happy and positive. It is a New Year. This is the time for resolutions, plans and excitement. I just do not feel that excitement right now. I am happy with myself for having a fairly productive morning, but I have also been jumping up and down like a Jack-in-the-Box attending to my children and their needs. Of course I wouldn’t have it any other way. But that doesn’t mean I find it easy to cope with motherhood.
My New Year Resolution is to be kinder to myself. This in turn will make me happier, more relaxed, and ultimately a better parent and wife. Those are the most important targets for me right now. And I also intend to play more this year. We didn’t manage to take a proper family holiday in 2013. Instead I despaired of my husband taking any time off work, and I packed my children off to Scotland for a couple of holidays with our friends. While I cannot force my husband to book time off for holidays, I can at least take control of my own workload. I have to do what I can, when I can, and stop trying to force immediate results for my endeavours.
Happy New Year everyone!
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