Did you see something? A shadow, over there, in the corner! As you look towards it the apparition vanishes, and you think your eyes are playing tricks on you. Then you hear a strange sound, maybe laughter drifting down the stairs, but you are alone in the house. It could be the neighbours or someone walking past outside… or maybe it was a ghost!
That was my lived experience up until sometime in the past year or so. Growing up I always sensed something “other” around me, but I could never explain what it was. The adults I spoke to always said I had a vivid imagination, and it was probably all those books I read playing tricks with my mind. But I knew that I could feel something different. I didn’t always see ghosts, but I knew when they were around me. I could list hundreds of small experiences across the years, but for now I want to talk about the experience of being a psychic sensitive. I am not a medium. I don’t see spirits and ghosts as physical beings like you see on TV. They speak to me silently, through music, odd sounds, and whispered words in my mind. They manifest as shadows and sensations, or an eerie cold patch in a warm place. They show themselves as an image in my mind. At least, they used to do that. Now my world is silent, and I feel lonely.
I am not sure what happened to me in 2019. It wasn’t a brilliant year, but I wouldn’t call it a bad year, despite the death of our beloved family dog. People and animals grow old and eventually we know that we must say goodbye. I experienced loss of people and animals last year. It was only in December that I realised I had been living alone. My spirit sense had disappeared. Or maybe it lies dormant, like a muscle that has wasted away. I became so wrapped up in the mundanity of life and domestic chores that I forgot to speak to Spirit, and so they left me alone. Why would they hang around someone who ignores them? There are lots of other sensitive people in the world that would welcome their company and their presence. Or perhaps they still wait in the shadows, knowing that I will search for them soon and they can return to me. There have been a few occasions recently where I felt a familiar shiver down my spine, and I knew I was not truly alone. I am here, my ethereal friends. And I would love to see you again, my beloved Baxter-Boy.
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