For the past two weeks I have been in a very strange mood. I couldn’t work out what was bothering me. I was happy because I had finally achieved the 2nd Degree reiki certification that I worked hard for. I felt at peace because all the family house moves were finally sorted. There is nothing important that I need to deal with right now. Well, except for my husband’s soon to expire job when he is made redundant at the end of May…
And my shortfall of income to support our family. You see, my mum raised me to be an independent woman. I didn’t need a man in my life. Then I fell in love, and you know what happened next. I fell into the classic trap, but I was happy to do so. I knew what I was doing. My career wasn’t exactly flourishing when I married my husband and got pregnant with our first child. I felt like I might as well try out the housewife role for a bit. But I got bored of that, and very frustrated. I need to work for my own peace of mind, and my own income. I need to do this so I can provide an inspirational role model for my daughters. I also need to be there for my children, and to nurture my family. There is not enough time in the day to fit everything in.
All of this feels like a jumble of thoughts, spilling out of my overactive mind. I decided to update my CV on some job hunt websites, and I went in search of a couple of certificates to add. I still can’t find one of them, but I know I saw it when we moved house. I did find one from 2008, presented to Catherine Hargreaves. She seems like a ghost these days. I have been Mrs Green for nine years, but it feels like forever. Indeed, Miss Hargreaves was a completely different person. She was still finding her way. She didn’t have the courage to write her stories and publish a novel. Mrs Green just went right ahead and did it, with a baby attached to her most of the time. I feel nostalgic when I think of the woman I used to be. I feel happy as the woman I have become. I suppose we haven’t done too badly so far. And there are many more adventures to come.
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SpookyMrsGreen 
I get this! 100% Trying to discover who you are, when your role has changed so much (from a girlfriend, to wife to mother) we sometimes can’t help but look back to a time when we felt secure. What you need to remember is that you’ve experienced so much between then and now. So you’ve grown as a person. I think the daily routine of it all can make you feel a little stuck. That’s what I usually find That’s when I jazz it up. Yes, the kids still need to get to school on time, but maybe take a different road or play a different game in the car . A different radio station. When you get home, don’t just settle into housework, or regular work. Maybe go for a long walk with the dog or even stay out in the garden for a little. Anything to make you feel like you’ve experienced the day a little differently can help. But thank you for still putting this out there. It’s encouraging to know you’re not on your own xxx
Wonderful suggestions, thank you! Sometimes a simple change to routine is all we need to feel happier 🙂