As we all go through these terrible times, it can be difficult to console loved ones who are hurting, grieving, and experiencing loss.
It might be tough to know what to do or say when someone is grieving. People who are grieving go through a wide range of painful feelings, including sadness, guilt, rage, and depression. Sometimes individuals are hesitant to offer their assistance to someone who is feeling alienated and alone in their grief. Take care not to let your discomfort prevent you from offering.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Do not let your fear of doing anything wrong prevent you from contacting them.
- Inform them that you’ve come to listen to them.
- Understand that everyone grieves in their own unique way.
- Maintain your support even after the funeral.
- It Is Critical To Understand The Grieving Process
Understanding sorrow and its recovery will allow you to better support others who are in mourning. There is no such thing as the incorrect or proper way to grieve. Extreme emotions and conduct are frequently related to mourning. Because everyone grieves differently, there is no standard time for mourning, and some people do not mourn immediately.
Understanding What To Say
People are continually having difficulty with this. Recognizing what to say, it is critical to listen more than talk. Grieving people have various views about what they want to hear, and one approach to help is to simply listen and let them speak when they are ready. As a result, nothing you say will make a difference. Allow them to talk about the deceased if they want to, but don’t force them or define how they should feel. Remember:
- Your concern and sympathy are much appreciated.
- Ask them how they are feeling.
- Be sensitive to their emotions.
- Communicate honestly.
- Don’t be frightened to sit quietly.
- Donate your time.
Maintain Contact and Make Yourself Available
You might not know what your bereaved friends require because they prefer to be alone. Some people appreciate text messages and e-mails, while others may want more attention. One thing is certain: do not forget about them at this trying time! You may be at a loss for words or actions when a loved one’s father passes away. It’s all right! A tiny act of kindness and encouragement can go a long way.
Allow your buddy to begin mourning by assuring them that you are there for them and will listen without judgement. You could advise that they download an app for self-care as needed to offer her space to heal. Give them your time whenever they are in need.
Another approach to being a friend is to provide funeral aid. You can let the funeral directors conduct the memorial services so they don’t have to deal with too much. It could be a good idea to have a look for flowers and then show your friend what you have found, this way they won’t get too overwhelmed. Just make sure you check with them first that they are ok with you doing this, some people may see it as something very personal.
Giving Advice Is A Bad Idea
When a friend needs your help, all you have to do is listen. You can reassure them that they are not alone or that no one appreciates what they are going through by checking in with them. Instead of providing ideas that would frustrate your friend, empathise with him. Relax them and assist them in calming down.
If you have suffered a loss, the most important thing you can do is listen, be present, and share your story if you have one. Some pals may require a listening ear or simply someone to vent to. You may accompany them to a funeral or wake, listen to them when they need someone to talk to and provide specialised support.
Assistance With Practical Issues
Those who are bereaved may find it difficult to seek assistance because they do not want to attract attention or become burdens to others. To provide practical aid, you may go grocery shopping or vacuum. Even offering to handle upsetting duties like shopping for funeral attire or helping to look at flat grave markers for cemeteries could be extremely beneficial. Offering a few options rather than forcing them to search around could make the encounter less stressful.
A person in grief can benefit from a lot of practical help. It would be extremely helpful if you could:
- Shopping for groceries
- Running errands
- Deliver a dinner or other necessities
- Assist in funeral planning.
- While at home, take calls.
- Help with insurance forms or bills.
- As part of domestic tasks, clean or do laundry.
- Keep an eye on their children or fetch them up from school
- Drive them around to complete errands.
- Looking after pets
- Take a stroll
Allow Them To Speak When They Are Ready
Try to create an environment in which they can feel safe and express their emotions. They may feel a variety of emotions, some of which may be unexpected, such as rage or relief, especially if the individual was in pain. Some people who are dealing with sadness alternate between feelings, grieving and moving on with their life. Some people may wish to move on and get on with their lives as soon as possible to deal with the sadness they are experiencing.
The person may have several practical things to sort out in the days, weeks, and months following the death. This is the period when most people make themselves available for assistance. However, grief has no time limit, and your friends or relatives may not be ready to grieve about it for months, if not years. It’s a good idea to keep track of important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, as these could be trigger days.
We hope this brief guidance assists you in offering assistance to someone you care about who is grieving. Even if you don’t feel like you’re helping, simply being there for them can be beneficial. Can you provide any other advice? Please share yours in the comments section.
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*This is a collaborative article