Most people think of me as a very calm and contained person. Outwardly, I suppose I am. Inwardly, however, I am a whirl of chaos, currently ruled by impatience. I am impatient with my children when they get under my feet. I am impatient with my husband when he won’t do the jobs I request around the home. I am impatient with myself most of all. Sometimes it turns sour, and I have to reign myself in, other times I simply laugh at myself for letting silly things upset me.
At the moment, I am mostly impatient with the very slow development of my career. Once I decided to be a professional writer, I set about applying for paid writing jobs in all sorts of places. I managed to get one or two very low paid jobs, and eventually I quit those because there were not worth my time or effort. I am trying very hard to sell my books, but I fear my efforts will not succeed until I can afford to pay someone to do the job for me. So I am looking for another regular job just to earn a bit of money. Unfortunately, this is not so easy when I have to source childcare and travel arrangements on a zero budget. I am living the catch-22 situation that so many fellow mothers in the UK are dealing with (and a small number of fathers). I can’t speak for other countries, but I would be interested to hear your feedback…
Being impatient is just one more of those crazy, irrational emotions that I live with at the moment. There are a lot of things happening around me that I feel helpless to remedy, even though in many cases I can see a reasonable solution. My work attempts are waning now as I take a step back to reassess the situation and decide where my priorities ultimately lie. I mean, my children are my priority at the moment, that is true, but so are my books. They are a part of me, just as much as my offspring. And I am impatient because I need the world to read my stories, fall in love with my characters, and support me as I continue to write and publish more wonderful works. Now, hurry up, I have work to do!
Could I tempt you to read my new short story, The Wolf and the Fairy, available to download now? Thank you!
See you tomorrow, for the next letter in the #AtoZChallenge.