When you act as a caregiver for an elderly family member or loved one, you have to be prepared for anything. Unfortunately, something that every caregiver needs to think about is when their loved one will pass away. This can be a journey that lasts for years, or it can only be a few weeks or months before your loved one dies.

Understandably, you might have to cope with a lot of complex emotions. Grief can last a lifetime, but before you and your other loved ones can get far in your grieving process, you need to think about one last way to care for the person you loved.

So, here’s how you can help them rest at last.

The Dying Process

Sometimes grief starts before the loved one has passed away. This is very common for people with terminal diagnoses. Different people have different experiences, as some might slowly fade away while others seem to recover slightly before passing more suddenly.

If possible, try to make the dying process as gentle as possible. If your loved one stops eating or drinking, it’s often a sign that they are nearing the end. Speak to them, even if they seem asleep, as hearing is often the last sense to fade away.

Some people want to talk before they die, and the best thing you can do is listen and be there. Medical care can be used to make someone more comfortable and provide palliative care, so find an option that works for your loved one’s needs.

The Legal Side of Things

Unfortunately, once someone has died, you might have to deal with lawyers. 

If your loved one has left a will, this makes things a lot easier for those they leave behind. A lawyer can make it easier for the family to divide any inheritance and, if some of the funds are to be used for the funeral arrangements, to pay for those.

A life insurance policy can also help those left behind, especially if someone died more suddenly. 

The Funeral Service

Sometimes people leave their wishes for their funeral in their will. If possible, try to follow their wishes as closely as possible. If something is slightly unusual, speak to the funeral directors about their wishes and they will help you. Sometimes you might need to explain to funeral guests that a certain change is due to your loved one’s wishes.

Ideally, a funeral service should be respectful but still appropriate to the loved one’s personality. This means that sometimes a little humour is fine, especially if that’s what they wanted.

Grief Over Time

If you’ve been a caregiver for a while, you might have a range of emotions. Some people feel guilt as well as sorrow, while others might feel anger or even a sense of relief. 

All of these are signs of grief and they might change as you mourn. If your grief is troubling you, speak to a therapist or someone you trust and work things through.

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