I know my Love Language, but what is my Erotic Language?

You’ve probably heard of the five love languages, which describe different ways to express care and support in a relationship (physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service)

But have you heard of the five lust languages?

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Lust languages, called “erotic blueprints,” are less well-known than love languages but are just as important when it comes to sexual satisfaction. 

What are erotic blueprints, and how do you know which one applies to you? Sex experts delicto.com discuss the ins and outs of erotic blueprints and how knowing yours can dramatically enhance your sex life. 

What Is An Erotic Blueprint?

The concept of an erotic blueprint was coined by somatic sexologist and educator Jaiya, who has spent decades researching the science of arousal and pleasure. According to Jaiya, an erotic blueprint is a map to what turns you on — a kind of steamy guidebook to your “primary sexual style.”

Just as love languages are intended to help us understand how we give and receive love, erotic blueprints can offer insight into the countless ways we experience arousal. 

Your erotic blueprint is made up of all the things that turn you on — and off! Knowing your erotic blueprint can help boost your self-awareness in the bedroom, improve communication between you and your partners, and give you a better understanding of what excites you — and why. 

What Are The Five Erotic Blueprints? 

There are five erotic blueprints: sensual, sexual, energetic, kinky, and shapeshifter. Most people identify with one or two erotic blueprints more than the others, but it’s common to relate to certain aspects of all of them. The blueprint that resonates with you the most is your primary erotic blueprint, the style that reflects your biggest turn-ons. 

Here’s the low-down on each erotic blueprint:


The sensual erotic blueprint is all about igniting the senses. What you hear, see, smell, taste, and touch is key when it comes to feeling aroused. If you have a sensual erotic blueprint, you’re more likely to be particular about your environment when you have sex.

Aromatic candles, a warm bubble bath, and a tidy bedroom are all things that can make the sensual type feel turned on and ready for action. 

Someone with a sensual erotic blueprint might also like to explore stimulation in areas of the body aside from the genitals. Other erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, backs of the knees, and ear lobes are all potential kryptonite for the sensual type.


This straight-to-the-point erotic blueprint is laser focused on nudity, orgasm, and the genitals. If you have a sexual blueprint, seeing a picture of your naked lover might be all you need to go from zero to 100 on the arousal meter.

If your partner has a sexual erotic blueprint, it doesn’t mean you should put less effort into turning them on, just that it might be easier to do so! Taking off their clothes (or your own), touching them, and kissing them could be a surefire path to arousal, regardless of your surroundings. 

Whereas a sexual type might not mind making love in a cluttered room, the sensual type could find arousal elusive. 


For those with an energetic blueprint, anticipation is everything. It’s the longing that revs the engine of the energetic type, making foreplay particularly important for this style.

Teasing, flirting, and building excitement for the sex to come is almost as arousing (if not more so!) as the sex itself. That’s why sexting can be a go-to arousal tool for the energetic. Getting hyped up via sexy texts and pictures before a face-to-face encounter can ensure an ultra-horny hook-up. 


The kinky erotic blueprint revolves around what polite society typically deems taboo or sexually deviant. People with this style often explore role play and detailed sexual fantasies that depart from the “vanilla,” or mainstream.

Wax play, bondage, and experimenting with power dynamics may all be found in the kinky type’s arsenal of arousal. While folks in this category might not need kink to become aroused, exploring these desires can help them experience deeper, more intense excitement.


This style brings a little of every blueprint to the table. The shapeshifter feeds off the energy of their partner and often derives the most pleasure from seeing them turned on.

The shapeshifter is very adaptable and intuitive and can weave in and out of each sexual style in reponse to their partner’s arousal. If you’re a shapeshifter, you might feel most excited when you adapt to the blueprint of your partner, match their mood, and play into their biggest turn-ons.

Of the five erotic blueprints, there might be one or two that you relate to most. Or maybe you’re unsure about which sexual style describes you best. Even if you’re still exploring what excites you the most, an understanding of erotic blueprints can help you pay attention to how your unique sexuality works, and what’s at play when you feel most aroused. 

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Erotic Blueprint Turn-Offs

An awareness of what turns your partner off is just as important as knowing what turns them on. And knowing your own turn-offs can help you communicate your preference and limits. 

Here are some of the most common turn-offs for each erotic blueprint type: 


If you’re a sensual type, your environment has a big impact on your ability to relax, focus, and feel desire. The wrong sensory input can distract you and bring arousal to a grinding halt. Some examples of make-or-break turn-offs for sensual folks are: 

  • A messy room 
  • TV or music on in the background 
  • Odd smells in the air 
  • An aftertaste in your/your partner’s mouth from eating or smoking 
  • An environment that feels too warm or too cold


Sexual types maintain a strong focus on nudity and the physical body. They’re straightforward, direct, and as long as sex is on the table, easy to arouse. A few things that might turn off the sexual type are:

  • Prolonged anticipation (they can only take so much teasing!)
  • Insecurity about their body 
  • A partner’s insecurity or inhibitions 


The energetic erotic blueprint centers around anticipation, which means you like to take things slow and build excitement. Here are some mood-killers for energetic types:

  • Skipping foreplay
  • Feeling rushed to orgasm 
  • Limited flirting before sex
  • Fear of dirty talk 


Kinky types are all about exploring the taboo! Some surefire ways to turn them off are:

  • Disinterest in exploring kinks/fetishes 
  • Closed-mindedness  
  • Refusal to try sex toys
  • Consistent vanilla sex (kinky types like to switch it up!)


Any of the turn-offs listed above might apply to shapeshifters, too, but two things that might kill the mood are:

  • Quiet lovers (they want to hear you enjoying yourself!)  
  • Lack of enthusiasm (remember, they match your energy!)

Why Does Your Erotic Blueprint Matter?

Learning about your partner’s erotic blueprint can mean the difference between guessing what will ignite arousal and knowing what will. When you understand your partner’s erotic blueprint, you’re better able to curate the best sexual experience for them. 

Knowing your own erotic blueprint arms you with the self-awareness to communicate your wants and needs to a partner. It can also remind you that there’s nothing “wrong” with you if you don’t become aroused in a certain sexual situation. 

Remember: we all experience arousal differently. If you love anticipation, for example, and meet someone eager to jump right into bed, you might not experience arousal at all. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your lover. You may just have incompatible erotic blueprints. 

Taking the time to discover what turns you on and off can help you set boundaries in the bedroom and help you live your most authentic sex life, both solo and with partners. 

A spokesperson for delicto.com commented on the findings:

“Keep in mind that, like your love language, your blueprint can shift over time as you move through different stages of life. Check-in with yourself and your partners periodically, and don’t forget that communication is always key to good sex, no matter what your erotic blueprint!”

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This research was carried out by delicto.com, which is an information website on exploring pleasure, product reviews, how-to guides and a wide selection of careful curated sex toys and accessories.

*Article contains affiliate links

About SpookyMrsGreen

SpookyMrsGreen: Mindful parenting and modern pagan lifestyle. See my blog for exclusive special offers, discount codes, health advice, eco-friendly tips, book reviews and more! Search #TheRedcliffeNovels and meet the vampires and werewolves of Cornwall, England.
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