I feel I have neglected my witchcraft for a very long time. It took many years for me to accept that I am a witch, and I am still trying to make sense of what that means in real terms. The ancient meaning of the word witch, in different forms, basically means “of the Earth.” I understand that. It makes sense. I feel calm, centered and whole when I walk in nature and appreciate the wild world. I feel the energy that emanates from trees and plants, and I know that the birds are interacting with me in their own way. Even the squirrels seem to acknowledge me on a primal level, as though we have an unspoken agreement of each other. We exist. We are natural. We are Nature.
But I grew up in a world where witchcraft was tainted by folklore and popular culture. A witch was either a glamorous Hollywood representation, or something hideous and scary. I couldn’t possibly be a witch because what can I do? I have no magical powers to speak of. All I know is that I grew up feeling a sense of loneliness, despite being surrounded by friends and family. I felt that nobody understood me, or acknowledged me, and I didn’t know how to articulate my feelings. So, I made myself invisible. It seems I did rather too good a job of that, much to my frustration now! I finally want to be seen, and I am cloaked and hidden from the world. I must learn to break my spell…
Anyway, as I began to learn about real witchcraft in modern terms, I made notes from the books that I read and the videos that I watched. I started with a plain, pink notebook, and I simply wrote anything that felt important: elemental representations, herbs and their uses, colours, crystals, auras. Anything that resonated with me personally went into that book so that I could learn and study. Then I moved on to learn Tarot, and I started another book, this time one that was stripy and colourful. That became my Tarot handbook, and still is, because I wrote down specific types of spreads and card meanings that I wanted to use.
Finally, I started filling in another book, which I have been using for the past couple of years. It is far more witchy to my mind, with an elaborate faux-leather cover and textured paper. It feels like a proper Book of Shadows, a place in which to write spells and incantations, rituals and rhyme. It is sparse at the moment, but I am working on it. Sometimes I feel it needs pictures or images, but I’m a writer, not an illustrator. So, I will fill it with information that resonates with me. Being a witch is personal, individual, and not something to be dismissed as a flight of fancy. Blessed be.
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