It is now just ten days until Christmas, and I feel very disjointed about the whole affair. I have taken some time to be alone, and have meditated on my thought processes and all the overwhelming emotions that are currently trying to break free. I have cried a little over the weekend, but I know there are more tears to come as I watch my youngest daughter perform in her last preschool nativity play and partake of the festivities as a preschooler. Next year everything will be different again, and I feel both sad and happy that we have reached this milestone in our lives together.

They are growing so fast!
Reiki has proven to be a source of support and comfort for me. Although I struggle to set aside time to properly meditate and listen to appropriate music every day, I still make sure that I focus on the reiki energy that is ever present. I ask it to pulse through my body, to flow through my mind, and to help me with all of the “stuff” that is created in modern life. Aside from the growing pains of motherhood, I find myself grieving for Christmases past, and a way of life that my daughters will never know, because our family dynamic has changed forever. We have splintered and grown apart, and I realise that it bothers me more than I let on.

Goodbye to the old traditions
Last-night I joined with my local reiki practitioners and enjoyed the full benefits of reiki meditation under the gentle guidance of our wonderful teacher. She is a source of support, enlightenment, and great wisdom, and I know that we came together at the right time for my spiritual development. I couldn’t have handled all of this during the last couple of years, but I can now because I am fully aware of my situation, and I accept the emotion that I need to express. I am allowing it to release when it needs to, in a gentle, healing, cleansing environment. Solstice Blessings to you, my spiritual friends, and may we enjoy the festivities of our winter season.
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I found this post so moving. It reminds me of some things I wrote in this post on my blog: https://scskillman.com/2015/12/14/christmas-time-for-joy-time-for-mourning/. In particular, the paragraph at the end of my article: “The bittersweet remembrance of Christmases past, spent with the people who have scattered – through death, divorce, marriage, moving on to create new lives of their own, moving far away.” It’s good to know others feel the same – and to have the gift of writing, so we may express what we feel, and in the very act of writing about it, healing comes.
Yes, I know there are many people in similar situations at this time, and others who are sad and lonely for other reasons. Thank you for sharing the link 🙂