It is turning out to be a pretty crazy month this October. There are lots of powerful energies whizzing around, and although I am not an astrologer, I understand that it is somewhat connected to the stars and planetary alignments at the moment. The 2012 shift is well and truly showing its power. People around me are dealing with recurring health problems, emotional and relationship issues, and lots of upheaval and change.
Traditionally this is the time of year when we collect in the harvest and prepare to wind down for the winter rest. As we approach Samhain, or Halloween as it is more commonly recognized, we begin to remember those who have passed, and we slow down our bodies and enter a kind of hibernation. Well, this is how it used to be in the time before society became a non-stop institution.
I have recently had a relapse of a chronic pain condition that has blighted me for all my life. It is a congenital eye defect called Lymphodoema Distichiasis (ingrowing eyelashes). Basically I have two rows of eyelashes in both eyes, and one grows on the inside of my eyelids. I am left with a constant sensation of grit in my eyes, I have scars as a result of years of surgery and various treatments, and I also have associated Dry Eye Syndrome and Blepharitis. My eyes simply do not produce enough tears to keep them clean and hydrated. It leaves me feeling very grumpy and frustrated when I apply eyedrops and almost immediately they dry up and I am back at square one.
Anyway, I had been managing this condition quite well, and had not had any serious diffulties for about six months. I use eyedrops several times a day and every night I apply a thick, gloopy ointment which soothes my eyes and stops them from becoming inflamed and more painful. When my eyelashes grow back in, I pluck them out with tweezers. And I am a regular outpatient with the Royal Manchester Eye Hospital.
About two weeks ago I was in agony. My eyes were full of lashes that I couldn’t pull out because they were too fine, or too small, or I simply couldn’t grip them with the tweezers. I was not producing enough tears and my eyedrops weren’t sufficient. The pain was excruciating. Not only was I experiencing stabbing pains in both eyes, but they were gritty, dry, and the skin around them became red raw as it was inflamed.
Where did this come from? I have been running through a tumult of emotions while I deal with this situation. I have been on the phone to the hospital trying to arrange an appointment with an appropriate doctor (so far unsuccessful). I have tried going to bed early, not spending so much time on the computer, not driving, not reading. In fact, I had to reduce all of the things that I enjoy doing. I went mad! I feel angry and frustrated, and so confused about how I can actually stop this situation from recurring.
The doctors have done all they can. I have had surgery over many years, through my childhood and beyond. I use prescription medicines. I rarely wear make-up and I avoid situations that I know from experience make my eyes worse. I wear sunglasses every day, even when the sun isn’t out, because I am so light sensitive.
All that is left, is for me to figure out why I chose this particular experience in this lifetime. There is some divine reason for my rare eye condition. I have yet to truly understand the lesson and the journey, but I intend to find out and put an end to it once and for all. This is 2012. This is the year to Sort It Out!
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